If This Exciting New Burger Comes To McDonald’s, Everything Will Change

You’ve never eaten something like this before.

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BY Chris Matyszczyk - 12 Sep 2017
Don't think about what's in it. Just enjoy the taste.


PHOTO CREDIT: Getty Images

Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.


When you've been a little behind, every step forward feels like an innovation.

Even if it really only represents catching up.

McDonald's has, for some time, been catching up after it was caught napping after lunch and saw other, more enticing offerings drift on by.

Currently, it's introducing new things such as, well, fresh beef in its Quarter Pounders. And touchscreen ordering instead of talking to a human.

But perhaps the burger chain needs a great leap forward.

I think I've found it.

It's the mealworm larvae burger.

No, please don't think I've come over all save-the-worldish. This is all about the taste.

I'm told these new burgers -- already, as the Associated Press reports, launched in Switzerland -- actually taste quite good.

Inside aren't just the lovely larvae, but rice, chopped vegetables such as carrots, and spices such as paprika.

What's not to love? Yes, you might have a bug in your bonnet about insects.

In their natural habitat, they can seem a little on the creepy side. But they're still protein. And, so some experts believe, they're a touch healthier than cows.

Perhaps you should live with the concept for a bit.

While you do, let me tell you that the Coop's grocery chain that's creating these burgers is also working on delicacies featuring ground flour worms and crickets. And even locusts.

The AP correspondent who tried an Insectiburger likened it to "a meaty falafel with crunch."

That doesn't sound so bad, does it? And consider how we looked at burgers when they first came along. They must have looked a little strange.

So when these bug-based items hit more countries, they'll certainly have to suffer some reluctance.

But imagine that McDonald's would suddenly become the healthiest place to eat a burger in America.

Wouldn't that be a great cultural moment? Wouldn't that represent the coming of a new age of wonder?

Of course, it might be tricky deciding on a name.

Clearly Bug-ers has its problematic aspects. Bug Burgers sounds cute, but is a little too on-the-nose and is surely likely to intimidate everyone but strange children.

How about the McDonald's Future Burger?

Pretend the insect thing just isn't there. Focus on a bright new tomorrow. Everyone loves doing that.

I'll have a Future and Fries, please. Now doesn't that sound magical?