Buffalo Wild Wings Just Made a Huge Announcement That’s Going to Put Its Competitors to Shame
Who saw this coming?
PHOTO CREDIT: Getty Images
Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
I think of Buffalo Wild Wings as a struggling casual restaurant chain, one that's been deserted by millennials. Allegedly.
Yes, it's got a sporty vibe and I'm sure the wings are suitably greasy and filling, but the more casual end of the dining spectrum has been fighting inclement social conditions.
But, now that Arby's has taken it over, the Buffalo may be roaming to more exalted ground.
You see, it's just announced that it's exploring an addition to its restaurants that is so sublimely appropriate that it'll make enthusiasts flock.
It's going to introduce gambling into its restaurants.
As ESPN reports, the chain offered these spirited words:
As the largest sports bar in America, we believe Buffalo Wild Wings is uniquely positioned to leverage sports gaming to enhance the restaurant experience for our guests.
Please can you conceive the atmosphere when patrons aren't merely staring up at screens, screaming at teams, but actually winning like Charlie Sheen?
Should you have never been to a Buffalo Wild Wings, this ad shows something of the atmosphere, presented in an idealistic manner.
Please consider the untrammeled mayhem if these men were winning real money.
Which they could be, given that states -- thanks to a Supreme Court ruling in May -- are now able to set their own sports gambling rules.
Delaware, Mississippi and New Jersey have already declared sports gambling perfectly legal.
So now what used to be a pleasant sports bar with wings can now become your own personal Little Las Vegas.
Which casual dining experience could compete with that? Applebee's?
What uncontrollable joy it would be to take a date there, get them all worked up about a beautiful baseball game or some foul-ridden NFL display and actually win enough money to pay for dinner?
It would redefine romance as we know it.
It would redefine sports-watching and even eating chicken wings, too.
There is, of course, another side to this. And it's not one of piping hot fries.
What if you take your date there and you lose all your money? Who's going to pay for dinner?
Oh, don't think about such sad things. The perfect gambler adores the buzz of the race far more than the winning anyway.
And I'm sure Buffalo Wild Wings and its gambling operator partners will offer good gamblers better tables and some forgiveness on their ledger.
Until, that is, the debt's called in.
Then, you'll be met by a large man in a Buffalo costume at your door carrying a sign that says: "The Boss wants to see you. Now."