THE INC. LIFE

5 Lies That Will Hold You Back in Your Career & Relationships

These 5 “lies” waste precious brain power, bandwidth, and energetic resources

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BY Anese Cavanaugh - 13 Feb 2018

PHOTO CREDIT: Getty Images

Working with clients in all domains of their lives I see patterns. Here is a recent trend of patterns I've seen popping up over the last year. Whether it be in their career, with their boss or business partner, their direct reports, or their spouse, their friends, their kids, stuff comes up that slows us down. Here are 5 common "lies" I see holding people back, slowing them down, and wasting precious energetic resources. Have a look, any of these for you?

  1. I'm too busy. You're never too busy. Make the time. Be it time for communication, time to find the perfect fit of a job, a new venture that inspires you, or nourishing a relationship you want to grow -- you're not too busy, make the time. The ROI for creating the space and time for anything you WANT in terms of career and relationship can be grand. But you have to own the time. Claiming busy is a scapegoat that will go for miles yet get you nowhere. (For more on time, see my recent article in this column.)
  2. I'm not qood enough. According to who? Check yourself before you wreck yourself and get in there. Check your IEP (Intentional Energetic Presence) and hop to. Ready? Work your mindset; what are you intentions? Are you going in there to be in service of? Check your energy; what's the energy you're bringing into the room/conversation with you? What's your vibe? Do you come across as burnt out and busy, or are you awake, present, and ready to roll? And finally, your presence; how are you going to show up in that room/conversation? Where will your attention be? (On yourself and your nerves or on being present with them and tuned in so that the conversation is rich and you have a better shot at getting your intended outcomes.) Your IEP is all up to you.
  3. They don't like me. The assumptions we have about people tend to have a way of designing us and can impact how we show up. Case in point, if I think my colleague doesn't like me or that lady at my kids' school doesn't like me, I'm likely to show up in more resistance, more careful, and more tethering evidence to prove my point. If I hold that they do like me and that we're going to get along just great -- I show up in a way that will invite that. I might not be right, AND at least I've set the stage for helping things go well.
  4. I have to get it right/perfect. No. You don't. Be clear on your intended impact, go in with positive intent, do your preparation and due diligence, but forget about getting it right or perfect -- there is no such thing. Show up, serve, and go. See what unfolds.
  5. I have to be unique. Easy peasy, that's already done. You are unique -- there's only one of you in the Universe and only one of you with the combination of characteristics, skills, presence, life experience, and heart that you have. Waste ZERO energy on this. No need for inauthenticity, trying to be something you're not, lying, overdoing authenticity, etc. Just do you.

Whether we're talking business or personal, career or relationships (they all meld together anyway if you're living a rich and full life!), these things apply to all. Notice where you spend ANY energy, wasting precious bandwidth, brainwidth, heartwidth, and just energetic currency on any of these. And then breathe and let it go.

Get in there.

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