6 Relationship Secrets I Learned From The Most Connected Man In Business
“The people you meet on the way up are the same people you meet on the way down.”
PHOTO CREDIT: Getty Images
According to Tim Ferriss: "As a connector, I've seen many people who have good networks, but I have never seen anyone who has the network that Joe has."
According to Sir Richard Branson: "Joe Polish is doggedly determined, never gives up... he's bloody good at the Internet and pulling people together, but behind all that he has a very big heart."
According to Brendon Burchard: "I've known Joe Polish since 2007, and he's not just the most connected and caring guy I know in the industry, he really, really does bring together the smartest, most capable groups of people to help you 10X your business."
What is Joe Polish's secret to connecting so many people, and being loved by so many people?
This article will give you a glimpse:
1. Only Do "E.L.F." Relationships And Business
According to Polish, business is either "E.L.F." (Easy, Lucrative and Fun) or "H.A.L.F." (Hard, Annoying, Lame and Frustrating).
Like most people, Polish has a mental system for determining if a relationship or a project is worth his time. Actually, he using E.L.F. as his determining factor for just about everything, even how he hires and runs his company.
If it's not E.L.F., he doesn't do it. According to Dr. David Hawkins, you are either operating with power or you're trying to force things. Forcing things requires a lot of willpower. It's much better to just set things up to move in a desired direction. It's much better to simply operate in alignment rather than trying to beat your head against the wall.
2. Life Gives To The Giver And Takes From The Taker
"You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness."Victor Hugo, Les Misrables
Polish has been mentored by Strategic Coach founder, Dan Sullivan, for two decades. One of Sullivan's concepts is that you need only have two experiences: Giving and gratitude.
You give because giving is essential to abundance.
You are grateful because as you give, you will naturally receive much. And gratitude is also essential to abundance. The more you recognize what you've been given, the more life becomes beautiful. The more you receive, the more you give. And the more you give, the more you receive. Polish has internalized this and only works closely with "givers," never "takers."
People may try to appear to be givers in a manipulative manner, but those types of relationships don't last long. Eventually, those short-sighted "takers" will disappear once they feel they are giving too much and receiving too little.
3. Create Triads, Not Dyads
A "triad" is a group of three people, whereas a "dyad" is a group of two people. In the book, Tribal Leadership: Leveraging Natural Groups to Build a Thriving Organization, authors by Dave Logan, John King, and Halee Fischer-Wright explain that most people build relationships as dyads. Rather than connecting other people together, they try to keep all relationships and communication two-way. They want to be involved in all communications and they want all communication to go through them.
Conversely, those who are most collaborative and synergistic focus on creating triads. Rather than relaying information from one party to another, high level connectors merge parties together so that communication can happen between all parties.
Since knowing Joe, I can't tell you how many times he's creating 3-way or 4-way (or more) texting conversations to connect me with other people. I see him do it all the time. Not only is it the easiest and fastest way to communicate, it's also the most generous.
Joe is happy making the connection. He wants the right people to be connected. He makes it easy and effective for everyone. Since spending time around Joe, I've started doing the same thing. When it makes sense to connect people, I just create 3-way texting conversations and let the needed parties take care of what they need to. Hording relationships and communication channels is not how connectors operate.
4. Invest In Relationships
"If you don't pay, you probably won't pay attention."Joe Polish
People often ask Joe how he knows so many people. What they don't know is that Joe is willing to invest in relationships. That means investing energy, time, and money.
Sometimes the fastest way to get a result is to simply write a check. You can gain amazing access to people by investing money into causes that are important to them. Joe has developed relationships with Sir Richard Branson, Alice Cooper, and others this way.
5. Give All The Credit Of Your Success To Others
"Self-made is an illusion. There are many people who played divine roles in you having the life that you have today. Be sure to let them know how grateful you are."--Michael Fishman
People are either givers and takers when it comes to credit. Some people take credit for everything. Others give credit where credit is due.
If you remain a humble recipient, and never let external accolades cloud your judgment and sense of security, you'll continue to be relate-able to all people.That's the essence of transformational leadership. To be someone others LOVE. Someone they want to see succeed, because you are a living embodiment of their greatest desires and highest values.
According to Joe, the death-sentence shift that happens to most people seeking success is when they start to believe their own press. When you do this, you start to think you were the cause of everything that happened to you. You stop giving credit where credit is due, and this will hurt you long-term. Because as Joe says, "The people you meet on the way up are the same people you meet on the way down."
6. Integrate Your Goals With The Right People
When two givers come together, 100X collaborations can occur. This can only happen when the missions of both parties are congruent.
Not only do both parties have to be givers, but both parties must be loyal to each other. Even more, both parties must genuinely want the other party to be successful in their other goals-- not just in the collaboration.
So the relationship is more than just a win-win. It's about more than just what the collaboration is about. It's about genuinely wanting the other person to be successful, independent of the collaboration.
I've never met anyone like Joe who truly wants other people to be successful. He's brilliant at creating win-wins. But more than that, he wants those he works with to be successful in all areas of their lives-- even beyond the collaborations he's a part of.
How many of these 6 things are you doing?